Feminism: A Love/Hate Relationship

Every Friday, I have to wait for the “Mr.” to get off  work, so I’ve been killing time in the library reading a variety of things.

Latel,y however, my reading material has been of the feminist genre.

Being an English & History major, I always tended to focus on women’s history and literature.

My artwork has primarily women subjects, and I prefer women vocalists.

There was even a time that I would have called myself a hardcore feminist,  but those days have passed.

What’s changed?

Well, for starters, I’m happier, and I’m recently of the opinion that it’s easiest to be “hardcore” for a cause if you’ve gotten shafted.

Allow me to explain.

You see, I grew up in an almost all female family.

I was four when my mother left my father and pregnant with my sister.

She and my grandparents raised us.

My grandfather passed away when I was young and wasn’t around as a male role model, so I was constantly surrounded by hard working women.

I started off life with the premise that most men were jerks and primarily only good for sex and procreation.

Then I got married and concluded that men, well, perhaps they weren’t even good for that.

My husband at the time was a lazy, neglectful man who had been babied by his parents and was used to having everything done for him.

He didn’t work, clean, cook, or anything else for that matter.

That left me to be the bread winner, chef, and maid of the house.

I was bending the gender roles (though not entirely by choice).

Eventually, he ended up having an affair, so we got divorced; he kept the house and car, and I left with my belongings.

Understandably, this situation left me with a “screw men” mentality, and it was easy to see how “MEN” were oppressing women.

I set off on my own again and went to University.

I shared an apartment with another strong willed female friend.

I studied women’s history and literature, focused on my studies, and saw men as mere playthings.

Ra-Ra Women Boo Men.

Then I met him: the “Mr” in my life.

Things changed.

Suddenly, the lines of gender oppression became a bit grainy

I went from man hating to man loving.

That’s not to say that I instantly saw men as saints because sister that will never happen…

But, he was sweet, kind, hardworking, treated me with respect,

and believed that I could do anything, anything I wanted.

I dropped my guard and pretensions.

We were happy, and he didn’t just want me for my female services be they domestic or primal.

So we got married.

Now we both work, and we both share the domestic duties and continue to break gender roles in our marriage

I still wave my flag for gender equality, and I still fight for women’s rights, but I’m no longer that hardcore Feminist.

I believe one of the true victories of feminism is the right for women to choose their own life,

and right now, I’m good.

Cheers,

A